Hey Mommies, raise your hands if you have ever yelled at your kids. After an array of requests to “please stop touching the switches” or “please don’t torture your sister”, it’s obvious that all those positive parenting techniques evaporate in a cloud of frustration. And here’s the result: yelling.
I know, we all love and care a lot about our kids, but we do have a responsibility to teach them discipline and encourage them to become a kind-hearted human. The main problem is, yelling never feels good. Have you ever felt better after yelling at someone or they yelled at you? I know the answer. Studies have shown that yelling at kids can be as harmful as hitting them. It’s a sad cycle and a child who is yelled at is more likely to exhibit problem behavior.
Reasons why parents yell?
An obvious answer, because we feel overwhelmed or angry. This makes us raise our voices. But let me tell you one thing, yelling rarely solves the situation. It handles our children for a short while but it won’t correct their behavior or attitude.
Rather, it teaches them to fear us instead of understanding the consequences of their actions.
Parents are children’s first teacher. Children rely on parents for learning. So, if anger, agression and shouting is a part of what child perceives as normal, it will reflect in their behavior. As a parent, the first thing we should learn is to safeguard our child, controlling our emotions be the next one.
Effects of Yelling
A loud voice does not make the message clearer. Shouting often makes children tune out of discipline as every time we raise our voices, it lowers their respective. It makes them more aggressive; physically and verbally. Yelling at children scares them and they feel insecure.
On the other hand, handling them with calmness make them feel loved and secure. Despite of their bad behavior, kids have an assurance of being accepted by their parents. Yelling has long term effects like anxiety, low self-esteem increased aggression and it makes them more susceptible to bullying.
It skews their understanding of healthy boundaries and self-respect and makes them stubborn.
Alternatives of yelling:
A strong emotional connection between children and parents results in more disciplined and kinder children. When children feel safe and loved, they will listen before a conflict escalates into a yelling episode.
Here’s how you can avoid yelling:
1. Give yourself time: Whenever you feel you are going to involve in an argument, just pause. Step away from the conflict zone and give yourself a chance to breathe deeply. It will also teach your children how to manage emotions and set boundaries.
2. Pour out your emotions: Talk about your emotions and tell your children to do the same. It will help them to develop a respectful attitude towards others in life.
3. Address bad behavior calmly: Accept the fact that children will misbehave. It’s part of growing up. Be calm but firm and address their bad behavior in such a way that leaves their dignity intact.
It’s natural to get frustrated as we are humans but make sure to keep the environment and surroundings calm.
Read more parenting advice blogs shared by Mansi Rana for healthy parenting.