Life keeps on teaching us in so many ways. Time runs by, it lives in my mind as a moment ago, I carried my baby in my womb. I was unable to see my elephant-sized ankle or toes. I couldn’t keep my favorite treats down, yet I never complained even once.
Those tiny toes are growing rapidly and at a blink of an eye, babies grow into adults. Parenting adult children has never been depicted as easy. You may find adequate information available over the web to prepare parents for the early years of child development through adolescence.
This is indeed the most fragile stage. Building a thriving relationship between a parent and adult children requires a new skill set. Today, in this blog we are going to share some parenting tips for adult children. So if you are dealing with young children keep on reading.
#1. Respect Young Children
Your child are becoming who they are as an adult. They might not check in with you anymore before making decisions but they still wait for your approval. Show your approval by respecting their decisions, their choices, their time and space.
Accept and celebrate the individuality of your adult child. Finding joy in connecting without conflict, whether you agree or disagree with their choices, fosters a mutual relationship of respect and trust.
#2. Don’t be Judgemental
Make your child comfortable when they are around you. When they feel comfortable, they are more likely to tell you about their world and what is going on in it.
Some of what you hear will make your insides turn; some will make you want to bury your head under a pillow. If you are going to remain or become their safe space, you will have to avoid judgment. Trust them to make the best decision for themselves – or mistakes to grow from.
#3. Play with Your Adult Children
You must spend some quality time with your child by binge watching your favorite series or shopping or even running a marathon.This is how adults play. Set up regular playdates with your child where you engage in enjoying each other.
Please do not start lecturing or interrogating your child while doing so. More often than not, after a good play session, your child will bring up whatever is going on in their world on their own.
#4. Set Boundaries
Yes, boundaries are the key to a healthy relationship with adult children. Once again, this is a two-way street. You must put your limitations and become conscious and thoughtful of your child.
For a parent, not having boundaries leads to feelings of bitterness, even if you swallow it up. When children’s boundaries are not observed, they may start to avoid you.
#5. Spread Your Branches
Be open in accepting their relationship with their friends. By the time they reach adulthood, they invite their friends to homes. The relationships they form now will carry more weight than previous relationships. You cannot choose their friends, partners or determine their preferences.
Welcoming and respecting their friends will benefit your relationship with your child.
Encourage healthy relationships without being pushy or judgmental. Let your child spread their wings and develop their relationships on their terms. Remember, you were once a young adult as well and you didn’t want your parents to choose your friends. So, let them flow, even if you feel you know best. The relationship may grow sour, so resist to say, “I told you so.” Instead, ask them how you can best support them, keeping in mind their boundaries and your own.
#6. Grow up
Children leave home at one point of time. It’s a heavy time for parents to live in the empty nest. It isn’t the leaving of children, but the end of the roles and responsibilities that leaves us empty from inside. During the active parenting years, we may sacrifice a lot.
When children grow into adults, they need to know you are going on with your life.
They want to see you happy with a life outside of them. You get to evolve as an individual, also as a parent. When the temptation to meddle arises, steer your efforts back to your own dreams and growth. Remember, they are still learning from you. Practice what you can no longer preach.
#7. Use Your Will
Parents to younger children talk with both affection and anxiety at how much their children resemble them. It can come as quite a shock when they show how different they are and turn away from our advice. They may think they know a better way. Use your wisdom to determine why they will not take advice from you.
Sometimes uninvited advice is not welcome by adult children. This includes passive-aggressive ways of sharing advice. However, keep the lines of communication open. Give your advice without being critical, and say your piece with the understanding that they will ultimately make their own decisions. Explain to them that they do, in fact, have a choice in their decisions, and like all adults, decisions come with consequences, some good, some bad.