My whole family was startled by my scream. But this time the tantrum was not from my toddler, it came from me. I am not even sure what set me off. It could have been that while I was cooking, my baby was pulling all the utensils back out of the trolley that I had just put inside. He was spreading them all over the kitchen, living room, and dining area. Or it could have been that I headed to the room to see my toddler and found him chewing on my earbuds.
Or maybe all of the above. I was so sick of having junk all over my house that I burst like a bomb that night. But the truth is even more bitter than this episode. If your goal is to be a happy mother 100 percent of the time, your goal is unrealistic. Nobody is happy 100 percent of the time. Even after you try all those happiness hacks mentioned in this article, you must understand that there will come a time when you will feel low. You will be getting late when you realize someone moved your car keys and they are nowhere to be found. You may end up snapping at your kids or you might throw a tantrum.
But remember, you are not a bad mom. No matter how many healthy and happy habits you follow, you will encounter small frustrations every day.
Not to mention that when you lose it, the collective mood of your whole family suffers. Research shows the bad mood of one person can spoil the mood of everyone else in the family.
So today, we are going to bring up some quick fixes to become a happy mom. But before that we would like to mention the two most important things that happy moms do:
1. Don’t try to deny that you feel frustrated or annoyed. Piling up negative feelings will make them even worse.
2. On the other hand, venting isn’t always helpful either. Complaining keeps you focused on the problem instead of a solution, plus it’s not good for your mental and physical health.
Don’t bottle it up, but don’t vent it either. Um…so what can you do?
How to be a Happy mom
Above all, keep in mind that even the happiest moms have unhappy moments. When you are feeling a little low or off try these tricks to get back on track.
#1. Hug It Out:
Remember, when you are going through negative emotions, your brain reacts like an overactive car alarm. Your brain starts assuming every little thing as a threat. To be a happy mom, you need your brain to chill out. One reliable way to do that is to hug a loved one. Because when you hug the right way, you get the happy chemicals oxytocin flowing. Those help you boost your mood and promote bonding. It reduces the reactivity of your brain and makes you feel happy. But make sure to hold the hug for at least six seconds to get this benefit.
#2. Get Moving
Make sure to move daily. Whether it’s a dance party with your little toddler or a walk with them. It’s important to keep your body moving. You can play with them in the park or do something more vigorous such as running or skiing. Keeping your body active will make your mind stress-free and relaxed.
#3. It’s Not About You Always
Let’s say you discovered your kid took money from your wallet and lied to you about it. Reframe the situation by saying, “It’s not about me. She must be having a bad day.” To be clear, the point of this trick is not to excuse inappropriate behavior from your kid. The goal is to keep your temper in check so you can deal with the situation in a productive way.
Because when you react like a sleep-deprived drill sergeant, you risk introducing fear and stress into the situation. When fear and stress are involved, your child’s brain is flat-out incapable of learning anything from the situation. And I guess that you’d rather your kid learn an important lesson than cowering in fear.
#4. Take a sound sleep
Unless you happen to be part of the tiny, tiny percent of people who can thrive on less than seven hours of sleep a night, research has shown time and time again that lack of sleep hampers your daily happiness.
If you aren’t already napping as a way to catch up on sleep, you should be. But I can feel you thinking I’m too busy. I can’t fall asleep during the day. I have a day job. Whatever your excuse, forget about it for now. Just try a nap. If it doesn’t work out for you after you give it an honest chance, then so be it.
The length time of a nap depends on what effect you’re going for:
● For a quick boost in energy and focus, 25 minutes or less is best.
● If you nap somewhere between 30 minutes and 85 minutes, you’ll likely wake up pretty groggy.
● For a deeper sleep, set your alarm for 90 minutes because that’s a full sleep cycle.
What’s your best trick for how to be a happy mom? Share in a comment below!
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