Dealing with a stubborn child

Nothing can be more horrible than your child taking a toll on you! It’s irritating. Come on, we all know how frustrating it is to deal with stubborn children. I am raising twins and they sometimes make it hell for me to cope up. They are 5 years old now and this is the age where they develop this trait of stubbornness. It is important to stop them and nurture them in a way that they don’t cultivate such habit.

Why suddenly a child becomes stubborn?

• It is never all of a sudden! We miss the signs of growing stubbornness under various titles
• One day when he or she refuses to eat the meal you prepared and asks for another dish
• When they refuse to sleep at their usual time
• When they deny their homework just because they don’t feel like doing it
• When they don’t switch off the television in spite of being told several times
• When they still play the same game which is hazardous for them and what not!

These are just examples of growing stubbornness. If you don’t track them and cure them on time, it turns out to be a headache!

Between the age of 4 to 8, a child develops a sense of belonging and ego. Till now, they have observed you and know your traits quite well. Since these personal traits are being developed at this age, it is necessary to mould them correctly. We as parents have to nurture our kids like a Potter does to raw soil.

Tips to deal with a child’s stubborn behaviour

The fact being told, the earlier number of children per family used to be 3 to 4 and nuclear families were less in numbers. India then lived in Joint Families. So a child used to get attention from everyone and even lessons from everyone. Now when we are living in nuclear families with not more than 2 kids, sometimes single kid too.

In most of the cases, the child is the centre of attraction in nuclear families. The moment they get less attention they start showing tantrums and try to grab attention. What should we do then?

• Do not over shower your love

The reason why our kids don’t listen to us lies in the amount of love we have showered on them. Yes, we often give them plenty of love and attention. Such is the case, kids take advantage of our nature and start taking us for granted.

With love, certain amount of discipline is also required to let our child lead a successful life.

“Itni bhi Chhav ki aadat mat dalo ki Dhup me aankh hi na khul page.”

• Set Rules for them and for yourself too

The child is nothing but a reflection of parents. It is easy to preach and hard to practice. So as a parent be a role model for your child. While expecting anything from them, practice it first.

Every home has its own decorum and it should be maintained by everyone. Be it morning rituals or dining time manners, set defined rules and follow them!

• Give them your ear once before denial

One of the strongest reasons behind a child’s stubbornness is continuous denials by parents. We should deny them while they are unreasonable but we should at least listen to what they have to say.

Secondly, instead of showing your authority as a parent make them understand why you can not allow them or give them what they are asking for!

A reasonable answer from your side will be satisfying and possibly a child won’t stick to the demands!

• Leave it for a while and start fresh

That is what I do with my twins! Sometimes it is too much to handle and we tend to lose temper. In every such situation, I just let my kids be for a while and leave the place.

This helps to think rationally and act better. Once I am done I get back to them and have conversations to make them understand!

At last, every child is different so as the parents. “Let the child in you deal with your child to make them better human beings!”